redwheelbarrowpoet poem

From: w w <redwheelbarrowpoet@gmail.com>Date: Aug 1, 2005 1:03 AM

My journal is full of poetry, yet I am empty.
A real poet easily fills the white space.
He can turn letters, stand a word on its side,
and sprinkle meaning across the page.
He seasons with images and meter,
fresh language, and addictive patterns.

The fool uses worn-out rhythms and old clichés—
statements borrowed from scholars, preachers
actors, diplomats, and—musicians:
Wise men say, only fools rush in – Elvis
You can fool some of the people all of the time,
and all of the people some of the time,
but you can't fool all of the people all of the time – Dean Martin

Fill 'er up mister? – Sourthern Gas Station Attendant

Ven da moon is fool, you'll change into a volfman – Old Gypsey Woman

I pity da foo – Mr. T

I feel full – Taco Bell Commercial

How many people did it take to fill a phone booth in the 1950's? –

ThePoet asks.
The same as today – The Fool's Response.

A fool tells where a poet shows.
A fool is full of it—and so is a poet.
The poet just makes it sound loftier.

The fool offers: "Why don't you fill me up buttercup," by The Temptations;

The poet corrects: "Why don't you build me up buttercup," by The Foundations.
Yes, but mine fits into the pattern—the fool answers.

So what makes the poem more memorable? The pattern or the meaning?
Can we do one without thinking of the other?

It's 11:25 and I've had my fill.

She's full mister – Same Southern Gas Station Attendant

From: t h neutraltones@gmail.com Date: Jul 23, 2005 10:42 AM

I believe that the poet did not intentionally decide to paste his/her poem that many times. I read through it and saw no variation. I truly relate to this poem right now as I, too, am starting to scrape the bottom of the poetic barrel. I particularly admire the fee-flowing style of this poem and the repetitions. I love the amost stream of consciousness feel to the poem, though it may be a bit too disjointed. I think when there is an interruption to the flow, it should make some sense. Overall, though this poem amuses me, and I guess that should be the goal of any poem: to illicit an emotional response from the reader/listener. Whirl on Whirlings

From: w s sonnet29@gmail.com Date: Jul 26, 2005 12:15 PM

The white space was filled, letters turned, meanings sprinkled, images seasoned and patterns addictive---as I interpreted it---5 of 8 poetic standards listed by the poet were accomplished in this piece. What is\n> the message? Freud would have little trouble interpreting the poet's free association; something I was unable. I found it interesting reading.

From: w y secondcomingpoet@gmail.com Date: Jul 27, 2005 8:27 AM

I may have committed a sin here in terms of this project, but I cut (primarily for bandwidth reasons) the repeated versions of the poem out of this forward. Suffice it to say that in the original email sent to "D" the poem was pasted in eight times with a set of 4 blank lines between each paste. If you want to see the original email just email me (E) and I will forward to you what I originally got. That said, this is an interesting poem in many ways. First of all it is a "found" poem, using snippets of quotes to drive home the point that the poet feels empty, un-creative. There is also interesting language play in the full/fool connection. What I think breaks down a bit is the rather talky style of the poem (something hard to avoid when using quotes, I know). In the sections that are the poet's own voice (stanzas 1, 2, 10, 12, 13) I want more originality than is there in the complaint. The only one that catches my attention best here is the its "11:25 and I've had my fill"--perhaps because of the concreteness of the moment. We've all felt that writer's block thing--especially when under the gun to produce--so telling us what the "real poet" in the 1st stanza does seems vs what the fool in the 2nd stanza does seems like too much explanation. The twist of using these quotes cliche to then create the poem is a lovely move, but it doesn't seem to go quite far enough for me. I want more of the poet's voice to frame the poem. I want to SEE the moment--I want sensory details in imagery, not rhetorical questions. On the other hand, as an exercise as D sonnet29 points out, this meets the poet's own criteria as well as the class journal prompts. The real question is: do you want to "fit the pattern" or go somewhere new?--roads not traveled, and all that."E"

From: j d <holysonnetx@gmail.com>> Date: Jul 28, 2005 11:00 AM

This poem is definitely a fun poem. I even saw some shards of Bukowski, which I mean as a compliment. I love the line, "It's 11:25 and I've had my fill." This task (of using cliches) is a hard one and overall I think the poet took these well known phrases and made something with them. It is just a bit too much for the poem. Either cut down the cliches, or the poem needs to be more made. I agree with secondcomingpoet when he/she says the poem needs some more images instead of rhetorical questions. The first line is rather weak in my opinion. The poet creates a paradox and doesn't attempt to really explore it. I admire what is being said as I enjoy poems about writer's block, but I do not agree with the poet's stance that a real poet easily fills the white space. I am thinking about the quote from Thomas Mann, "A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."

On 7/31/05, t e hollowmenpoet@gmail.com wrote:

i love the gas station idea. you'be taken all these crazy lines and twisted them into something new and exciting. the thread of it that echoed throughout made a disjointed poem somewhat jointed. i did question why a few of the cliche's were chosen, such as the gypsy woman one. some of the others seem to fit a specific purpose and this one kind of flew in from left field. overall, though, the approach is what really shined. it flows with creativity. in a sense, i felt as though i was reading shakespeare with all his pun craziness! this has a ton of potential, but i would consider cutting a few of the unnecessary puns!