sonnet29's poem

On 7/26/05 sonnet29@gmail.com wrote:

Dilemma

Courage grasps at heaven.
An ominous weight presses down where the ideal exists.
Its presence lays heavily upon everyman's breast
causing untold cowardice in our hearts---in love and in battle.
The standard's set lofty and
fear provides us a sticky foothold.

On 8/9/05 neutraltones@gmail.com wrote:

This poem doesn't really go anywhere. It is one of those moments where the reader says,
"I get it," and moves on. Not that the subject matter isn't inspiring, it is just that I feel the poet needs to move the poem further into that other place where the silence poetry strives to give sound to needed to be more resonant. I needed a twist for such a potentially sappy topic.


On 8/10/05 w w redwheelbarrowpoet@gmail.com wrote:

Very little imagery here. I'm having trouble seeing this. It's rather a play on definitions. It's sort of preachy. This is what I would like to feel after seeing images to make me react in such a manner. There's just not enough imagery here for me to feel I've experienced anything except someone's view of cowardice versus courage. I like the tone, yet there is little here. Where's the beef?

On 8/10/05 E secondcomingpoet@gmail.com wrote:

You know when I first saw this attached to the poem before it Ithought someone was making very poetic commentary. It still soundslike commentary, but now I wonder what the poet is really commentingon? There is something interesting here--"fear provides us a stickyfoothold"--but I am having trouble applying it. Take this and addsome concrete images (Yeah, I know I keep harping on that); you've gotto give us someting to hang our hats on! As it is now this could bepro-war or anti-war or anti-taxes or simply a rant on the poet's wife!It is just too abstract to tell. "E"

On 8/10/05 t e hollowmenpoet@gmail.com wrote:

In some senses, it seems a little cliche: the deep philosophy, theheroic idea. i love the reference to everyman, though. it gets meeverytime. as much as i want to love the love and battle idea, itsounds a little like love and war. may be keep the same idea,definitely keep the idea of everyman, but try to stem somewhere new.

On 8/10/05 j d holysonnetx@gmail.com wrote:

I like the idea of courage reaching, trying to grasp toward heaven. The language is elevated in this poem. However, some of the words (cowardice, heaven, hearts and battle) are too abstract.